When babies attack!

I just got in from the doctor - it was our first of many non-stress tests (NSTs) that we will endure every two weeks until 36 weeks, then we will go every week until she is born. Well, I knew Stephanie didn't like those fetal monitors, but today, she launched a full-out attack against them!

I'm lying on this already uncomfortable cot, I've got a monitor attached to catch contractions, and another one to read her heartbeat, and I've got her head in my lap and her feet in my throat (that's what it felt like). After finding her heartbeat, and smearing me with tons of jelly in the process, the nurse instructed me to call her if the read-out went below 115. So, I'm watching this tiny screen, feeling like I'm gonna suffocate, just biding my time. And then it begins. The attack of the baby.

It started off small - a nudge here, a kick there. But when she saw that that got no results, she really began to launch an all out assault. I took several swift kicks to my ribs, some punches in delicate places, and basically watched my poor stomach convulse and quake from her pummelling. If those monitors were not strapped to me, they would have most certainly gone flying clear across the room. I swear at one point, I could hear her launching underwater missiles through the amniotic fluid. She worked herself into such a tizzy that she caught two cases of the hiccups, which we could clearly hear on the monitor. The second set of hiccups must have frustrated her, because each "hic" was accompanied by a kick to my ribs. The nurse came in and was amused at how naughty she was being. I was not amused and couldn't wait to get up. Nurse says, "Okay, 3 more minutes" and left the room and Stephanie let out all her fury and basically showed out. I am sure that there must be some internal bruising. If she could talk, she'd probably be cursing me, the nurse, the doctor and those monitors.

Good news is that Dr. Michaelides gave us a perfect 10, and said everything looked great, despite how naughty the baby had been. I sure hope she gets used to those monitors, since we'll be strapped to them for several more occasions. I don't think my poor ribs can sustain too much more of a beating, and I am sure that if she continues, she's going to punch a hole right through my stomach!