Penny's Play Mat

Posing for the camera:



She loves the angel overhead. She prefers bell sounds to harsh rattle sounds, and the angel has bells (like her Piglet).



Look Ma! No hands!


Tummy time!

Three Months!

We started a new bed time routine with Penny this week and it has worked wonders! Usually, she spends the entire evening with us, alternating between cat naps and being all up in the mix. By 10, she can barely keep her little eyes open, but she's determined not to miss a thing, so that makes for a cranky baby and it takes forever to get her down for the night. Well, this week, I decided that she will start going to bed earlier, and we'll make an entire routine of it. I'm a little bit flexible on the time, but somewhere between 6:45 and 7-something, Daddy gives her a bath and gets her all moisturized and dressed for bed. Then, she comes to Mommy to nurse, while Daddy reads us a bed time story or two. She loves to hear him read, and doesn't even want to take her eyes off of him. Last night, he read Corduroy in a British accent (he thought the bear looked British) and she could barely eat for trying to look at him and coo back to him. Then, we all cuddle in the dark, and Mommy sings a few songs. We put her in her crib, still awake, but just about asleep, and Mommy may sing some more and she drifts off to sleep. She is down by 8 every night so far! And she stays! I usually go up after a couple hours to "dream feed" just to top her off, and she doesn't even wake up the entire time she's eating. We have our evenings to ourselves again, and she's a much happier baby. She still ends up coming to sleep in our bed about half way through the night, but that's only because it's just so convenient for me to nurse her lying down and half awake. This routine is definitely a keeper!

She changes every day, and each day brings something new. Her hair is starting to grow and curl up like mine. She giggles more and more and smiles so big and kicks her feet when she gets excited. Seeing her smile always makes me smile. It's funny how you will make an utter and complete fool of yourself to get a smile from a baby. Luckily, she's pretty generous with her smiles. She still thinks it's a hoot to turn her head when you try to kiss her, but after a few times, she'll look at you and smile like, "I'm just playing with you" and give a big wet kiss.

I think she will be teething soon. Lately, she has taken to biting me to signal that she's done nursing, or just when she's treating me like a pacifier. I HATE that, especially because she likes to give me this mischievous little smile when I yelp and firmly tell her "No. Don't bite Mommy." When she gets a hold to Steve's hand, it goes straight to her mouth and she starts chomping.
I went ahead and bought a teething ring, and she likes it well enough, but I guess human flesh is so much better.

We bought her one of those play mats to make tummy time more interesting. It has this part that plays music, and baby just touches or pushes or pulls on the attachments to make music or to change the song. Well, Miss Penny starts off on her tummy in the middle of the mat, and she kicks and inches and squirms her way over to the musical attachment and head butts it to change the song. It's hilarious to watch! Skip to My Loo - aah, who wants to hear that? *head butt* NEXT! London Bridge - don't go falling down on me! *head butt* NEXT! I think she will crawl soon. She moves quite well on her little belly. If only she would get the arms coordinated (she's usually sucking on her hands) then she could really get somewhere. Then we'll really be in trouble! Better get on that baby proofing soon!

She and I talk all the time. She really thinks she's having a conversation and she just tries so hard to tell me all about it. She'll laugh and squeal, and it sounds like she's saying "Guh" (girl) then more baby gibberish, like "Girl, you would not believe what I did today!" I answer back with, "Girl, whachu say?" And it just goes on and on, with us laughing and chatting. Forget calling me Mommy, I think she'll end up calling me "Guh." I can just hear it now. "Guh, I hone-gree . . . I wuv you, Guh."

She loves men. We're in trouble. If she hears a man's voice on television, she will turn and just stare at him. If he's cute, she'll try to talk to him. The other weekend, we rented "Obsessed" with Idris Elba and Beyonce (who can't act to save her life, but at least she's pretty). Well, she took a look at Idris, and she couldn't take her eyes off of him. Every time he was on the screen, she just cooed at him and wouldn't give us the time of day. She also loves corny Nick Cannon on "America's Got Talent." When she sets her sights on a man, we don't even exist anymore. Oh, Lord, help us now.

Time is flying. She's already 3 months old. She has more than doubled in size from that itty bitty baby we brought home from the hospital. She's a riot and she keeps us on our toes, but she fits in perfectly with our lives and I can't imagine any baby better than her.

Nip/Tuck

We went into the Mannheim Klinikum on Wednesday, August 26th for Stephanie's surgery. First of all, we had to find our way to the registration desk for her particular "house" which was an adventure. When we finally found it, there was a looooong line - and Germans are in no particular hurry for anything - and Penny and I found a seat while poor Steve waited forever to be seen. Of course, the lady in there speaks absolutely no English, but they managed to communicate and get the forms all completed. Sidebar - yes, we know it is horrible not speaking our host country's language, but we are working on that. From now on, I will always be a lot more sympathetic and empathetic towards foreignors in the United States who do not speak English. It is frightening, exasperating and lonely to be in a country where you do not speak the language. We are learning, but medical terminology is still way out of our range.

Anyhow, we finally make it up to our floor and to our room. Then, because I will be staying with Stephanie, I have to go back down to the registration office and get myself registered. Fun, fun! Luckily, the tech assisting us was kind enough to write in German what I needed so that I could just hand it to the lady downstairs. There goes another hour of waiting in line! While I'm gone, Stephanie has to get her IV inserted into her hand. Steve said she didn't even cry!
Of course, I hated seeing my baby with that thing in her hand! I hated getting the IV when I went in to deliver, but I ain't no crybaby either!
The first day/night in the hospital was so they could monitor her and check her heart. We went down to cardiology for an EKG, and the tech there gave Penny so much sugar water to, ironically, calm her down, I just knew she'd be bouncing off the walls later. Penny was in such a good mood the entire day - she had no worries and seemed to not even suspect that something was amiss. We shared the room with a one-month old, Frederic, who was also having hernia surgery. His mom actually spoke English, so that was cool.

The hard part began when she had to fast a few hours before surgery, since her stomach had to be empty for the anesthesia. She, and Frederic, couldn't eat after 3:30 AM, since their surgeries were first thing in the morning. The nurse came in to wake us at about 3 AM for their last feedings. Penny was not accustomed to sleeping for so long apart from me, so I fed her and just brought her to bed in my little cot. She was hungry when she awoke in the morning, and she seemed to keep looking at me in confusion when I wouldn't feed her. All I could do was stick her binky in and cuddle her. She was not happy, but she quieted down. Broke my heart, and I just kept talking and explaining to her that I couldn't feed her just yet, but I would as soon as she was able to eat again. I left her with Steve for a few minutes so I could grab a much-needed cup of coffee and try to shovel down my breakfast. I made it back to the room just in time - the nurse had come to wheel her down to surgery.

Here she is all dressed for surgery

She seemed to be looking for me, and kept her eyes on me and Steve as we made it down to the operating room. We made it to the big, frosted glass doors, and the nurse tells us, "It's time to say goodbye." So, we kiss her and stroke her and they take her away. I hear her start to cry, and of course, that makes me cry, too. We sit for a few moments in the little, dark waiting room, until the nurse tells us it will be a couple hours, so we decide to go outside for a walk. We sit by the river and chat about any and everything to pass the time.

We head back to the room about an hour or so later, and the nurse finally lets us know that she is ready and we can head down to see her. She was still under the anesthesia, and I really hated seeing her hooked up to all those machines, but I was so relieved that she had made it through surgery fine. I managed to sneak a couple of pictures with my phone.


We were down in the recovery room for about an hour before she was cleared to head back upstairs. We had to take turns sitting with her, since only one of us was allowed at a time. That first day, she seemed to be in pain when she woke up, and she got two doses of pain medicine (at different times, of course).

It seemed that the main reason she was in pain was because she ate too much at first, and her poor stomach was so tight that it pushed against the stitches and wound, causing her pain. After a while, she ate with no pain afterwards. That first night, there was a lot of free-floating gas in our room. Penny was farting like a grown man, and Frederic was belching like a frat boy! We mommies got NO sleep that night, but at least the gas gave us something to laugh about. There were no complications or anything, so we were released the next morning. I couldn't wait to get home and get some sleep! Penny and I went to bed almost as soon as we got home.

She has had no more pain, and the whole thing doesn't even seem to bother her. She was back to her usual smiling and cooing self the day after surgery, and hasn't stopped. She seemed to make up for not eating for the next couple nights though, wanting to nurse every couple hours.

We're back to normal, and she now has a cute new belly button!

Before:

After:

The extra skin will shrink as she grows, and she'll have a cute belly button! Thank God it's over!!

Oh Baby, I'm Losin' You!

My little girl is growing up too quickly! I know she's still a baby, but as my grandmother MaBelle likes to say, babies don't want to be babies no more - they want to be grown! They come out with their eyes wide open and they seem to be more adept at holding up their heads at earlier ages. Penny doesn't like to be cradled like a baby anymore, and she likes to stand in my lap more than sit. I told Steve that people don't give babies enough credit - they are much smarter than we think.

I think we're gonna be in trouble with this little girl! Up until now, Penny has been a total Mommy's Girl. She didn't want much to do with Steve at all. But I see it changing. Yesterday, she was sitting in his lap and actually reached for me. So I got her, gave her a few kisses and gave her back. Then, I left to go get myself a cup of coffee (decaf, of course). I guess I must have upset her, seeing as how I didn't ask for permission nor tell her where I was going. Steve followed seconds later, and as he was holding her, I leaned in to kiss her and she actually TURNED HER HEAD. I laughed and tried again. She TURNED HER HEAD! She did it a good four or five times in a row! We were both laughing so hard, and I'm sure that probably played into it. She liked the reaction she got out of us, so she kept on doing it. Little rascal!

Now, she knows how to play Steve like a fiddle. She knows how to poke her bottom lip out just so to get what she wants. She has this certain half-cry that she knows sends him running to pick her up. If it doesn't work, she gives us this "ahuh, ahuh" that sounds like she's just cranking up until she lets out a full blown wail, complete with the waterworks. My dad used to get mad at me because I always cried over everything, especially when I got in trouble, and he used to complain about my "alligator tears." I think I've passed it down to her. No matter if she just wants to be held and cuddled for a while, or she's hot, or just feeling cranky, or is hating her diaper change, she lets the tears flow. I think we have a drama queen on our hands! Once you pick her up and wipe her tears, she spends a good several minutes snuffling like she's just been so hurt. Of course, I make a fuss over her and am rubbing her back and kissing "my poor baby" and she just whines and moans like it was the worst day of her life. When she coughs - and I think she might be faking a little bit - I always pick her up quickly, patting her back and asking "is my baby o-kay?" and she heaves her breath in and out and opens her eyes really wide, looking around like "Did you see that, I almost died!"

She has discovered that baby in the mirror. She loves to look at herself, and will smile and coo at herself. We sat in front of the full length mirror and as I was holding her up she "walked" right up to herself and about near smacked her face - she was so determined to get that baby! She kept touching at it and couldn't quite figure it out. She even loves to look at pictures of herself. She got her vanity from the Williams side of the family, for sure.

Alas, I think I am losing her. She is taking to Steve more and more. She stares at him until he will look at her, and she smiles and coos for him. Of course, seeing as how I am her source of nourishment, she will just have to put up with me. : )

Posing like the little diva that she is.

Looks like she wants to punch someone here.


Sitting up like a big girl!


Giving Daddy a hard time.

Thoughts on Motherhood so far . . .

Before I gave birth to Penny, I always saw myself as a mother to boys. I could not imagine having a little girl. I had nothing against little girls, I just thought I could be a better mother to boys. Even when the doctor confirmed over and over again that we were having a girl, and even though I was excited to have a girl, I still couldn't wrap my mind around the idea. Every dream I had depicted a boy and I began to wonder if maybe the doctor had made a mistake (over and over again). Then, a few weeks before she was born, I had a dream that I was having a c-section and they took a boy out first, but they whisked him away to the table at my feet and I couldn't see him, and then a girl came and they put her on my chest. I remember sending Steve to check on our son while I held the little girl on my chest. Then, the next thing I knew, the little boy was walking out of the room and I asked him, "Where are you going?" and he laughingly responded, "I'm not your son," and was gone. I puzzled and puzzled over the meaning of that dream, and it wasn't until she was born that I understood what it was saying. I was so wrapped up in my ideal of having a son that I couldn't imagine a daughter. But when she was born, all the ideals and dreams of having a little boy walked right out the door and I fell completely in love with this little girl on my chest. When I saw her, I knew she was exactly the baby I was meant to have.

Motherhood has been good to me and for me thus far. Every single day I find myself thanking God for this big little miracle. Every single day I find myself loving her more and more. I am amazed every time she gazes into my eyes or gives me one of those gummy smiles. I have grown as a woman and discovered so much about myself, my passions, my strength in these two months. I have discovered that I can be amazingly agile, fabulously flexible, particularly patient and tremendously tired - but I have been joyful every step of the way. I have learned to do almost ANYTHING with just one hand, and how to improvise on the fly. I've gotten happy over seeing a poopy diaper, and laughed when peed on, pooped on, puked on. I've worried over feeding, weight and growth charts. I've endured plugged ducts almost every other week and being treated as a human pacifier. I've given up set schedules and housework and sometimes dinner when my baby needed me. Amazingly, I've still managed to have time to myself (thanks to my wonderful husband) to soak, relax and read a book.

After suffering with infertility for so long, I don't take this miracle lightly. So many people always ask, "when is the next one coming?" If you've not been down that road, you probably wouldn't understand. This is a miracle of the highest order, in my opinion, and I am content. People say, oh now that you've had one, everything is fine and you'll go on to have more. That's not necessarily true; there are no guarantees that I can have another baby. I am very content with my daughter and I've told God I will not ask for more. If He decides to bless us with another, that's all fine and well, but it is not something I am seeking after. Besides, I have waited so incredibly long for this little girl, I just want to enjoy every possible moment with her. She is just a baby, and I am not interested in pushing her to the side so quickly in pursuit of the next one. I am not opposed to having another baby, but the desire does not consume me, and I certainly don't want it to happen any time soon. Nevertheless, not my will, but His.

I've had some wonderful jobs and opportunities so far in life, but I get the feeling that this is what I was born to do. I love getting up everyday (it doesn't even bother me to get up at night) and every night I go to bed exhausted but content and grateful. Even with no accolades or appreciation, there's nothing else I'd rather be doing. I was made for this, born for this moment in life. She is the most amazing and beautiful thing my heart has ever known and I love being her Mommy!

Surgical Consult

We saw a surgeon today regarding Penny's very large umbilical hernia. I mean, that this is HUGE. They've decided that they want to go on and do the surgery, since it will most likely not go away in the next couple years and there are several different pieces of intestine in there and they don't want it to get all twisted and tangled up, which would cause pain and other complications. So, we have surgery scheduled for August 26th, the day after she turns 3 months.

I certainly do not like the idea of my baby having surgery, but I know it's for the best and I trust in God that all will be well. I will be able to be right by her side the entire time she is in the hospital, so I don't have to worry about leaving her there alone; they said she will be there 3 days and 2 nights. Before we go, we also have to see a cardiologist because the pediatrician heard a small heart murmur at our last visit. She wasn't worried about it, and neither was I, but we will still see the specialist just to be sure. Looks like our next couple weeks will be very busy.

Anyhow, she's doing really well and growing more and more every single day. We are approaching the 9 pound mark and I can feel the heft! She is such a sweet baby - she makes being a mommy really easy on me. I love waking up to her smiling face and hearing her coos when she's trying to stave off going to sleep. She loves to give us these looks like "What in the world are you talking about?" and she has even put her hand over my mouth as if to say "That's enough talking for now, Mommy." And she loves to jump and bounce, and her favorite song right now is "One Little Penny Jumping on the Bed" to the tune of "10 Little Monkeys." Her favorite sleepytime song is "You are my Sunshine" and sometimes "The Rainbow Connection." I have had to reach back into my childhood and pull out all the songs I've accumulated - and she really seems to like hearing me sing (even if no one else does). She is very vocal and I swear it sounds like she is straight up talking sometimes! I sometimes get the feeling that she doesn't like getting all dressed up, because every time I have her looking extra cute ('cause you know I always have her looking fly!) she throws a fit and just wants to cry and even will pull off her headbands sometimes. She has such personality! Every single day I think I fall more and more in love with her.

Here are a few more pics from today!

She is really growing into her swing!

These pearls were a birthday/push present, and will belong to her one day!

This is Penny's favorite toy/rattle, Piglet! He can always bring a smile to her face.

Two Months!!

Penny is 2 months old now! Time flies and my baby girl is growing and growing!

She had her first set of shots yesterday. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. She got three different injections and had an oral vaccine. I had to hold her hands down while he did the injections, but she only screamed when he poked her and was okay as soon as I picked her up. And no, I didn't cry, although I hated seeing her look up me with those pretty eyes like "Why are you letting him do this to me?" and I have been totally spoiling her ever since. She ran a very slight fever, but Tylenol has worked to keep it down.

The past two nights, she has slept for 6 hours straight! It was wonderful (and scary)! She even spent part of it in her crib last night. She probably would have slept the entire time in there, but I missed her and took the first opportunity when she started to fuss a little to bring her to bed with me. I know, I know - pathetic. I should just let her sleep there. Hopefully this becomes her usual pattern of sleeping, and I vow to try to let her stay in her crib all night. It's right at the foot of our bed, so it's not like she's far away from me. I've just gotten used to having her little body next to me and waking up to her sweet little face.

She's a little over 8 pounds now and she has so much personality. She's very vocal and she loves kisses. She can be a little stingy with the smiles and really make you work for them, but it's so worth it to see that big gummy smile. She loves the mobile on her swing, although she doesn't always like to swing. Sometimes, she's content to just sit there and watch the mobile. She is quite the wiggler! When I put her down for tummy time, she works those little legs so hard to try to get somewhere. Usually, she gets sidetracked by her hands and arms though, and spends time sucking and gnawing on those. She loves music, and one of her favorite songs is "Blow the Man Down." I just started singing it one day and put some motion to it, and she seems to enjoy it. She loves to "stand" and pump her legs so that we'll lift her into the air. She is still Mommy's Little Girl and I am enjoying that while it lasts.

This past Sunday, we visited a German pentecostal church and really liked it. It was H-O-T in there (no a/c, of course) but it was really neat. The service was done in German, English and French, and it was cool to learn the German version of worship songs that we already knew. Everyone fell in love with Stephanie and she was sooo pretty in her dress and stockings and patent leather shoes! We were running behind, so I said I'd get pictures after church. Well, it was so very hot in there and she was so miserable so I ended up changing her into a onesie in the car when we left. I'll get pictures next time!

Anyhow, here's some recent pictures of my baby!

She was not happy at all this day!

But sitting on Mommy's lap makes it better.

She loves sucking on her thumb and fingers.

Blowing spit bubbles.

Mommy's thumb tastes pretty good!