Swimming That River in Egypt . . .

So, my sister, Jessica, says that I'm in denial. And perhaps that is so. Before my appointment with the specialist, I thought to myself, "Maybe I should have my bag packed just in case something is really wrong and they have to induce me right away." But then I said, "Nah." I figure, if I don't have my bag packed, then they can't keep me there. And I still refuse to finish packing my bag. I've done most everything else that needs to be done. I just have to sterilize pacifiers and pump parts and *pack my bag*. Something about that bag - I mean, if I leave that one thing undone, then she can't come, right? At least, not until I decide I'm ready and I finally get it packed. Yes, I know this is perfectly illogical and she's going to come when she's ready, whether that bag is packed or not. But I'm still holding on to that sentiment. No bag packed = no baby coming.

Before, when Dr. M first mentioned that I could schedule an induction, I was all about that. Now that it seems I won't have a choice in the matter I want to put up a fight. Of course, I want to meet her soon, and it would be great to be able to schedule it just so. But wow - she's actually going to come out soon. And I don't think I'm ready for that. It's too late to send her back now, huh? Sometimes I wonder, "What was I thinking, wanting a baby and all? I'm not ready for that!" But it's a little too late for all that. You'd think after 7 years of wanting and trying for a baby that I'd be chomping at the bit to get her here, but all I want to do is go hide. I just won't pack that bag yet. ; )

Steve has done a whole lot more nesting than me. He has reorganized closets, moved around furniture, and got all the baby stuff that I put on his list done. I did all her laundry and some of the stuff on my baby list. Mostly, I'm too doggone tired to do anything. It's amazing - I can sleep until 9:30/10 AM every morning, then have breakfast and want to nap again immediately afterwards, then get up and straighten up the house (maybe!) and have lunch, and nap again around 1:30/2 PM, then get up and fix dinner and wait for Steve to get home, then want to sleep again after we eat (although I usually don't) and go to bed and do it all over again. I tell Steve he has sympathy fatigue, he usually falls asleep soon after dinner and sleeps the whole evening away. I figure I'll let him get away with it for now, because once Stephanie is here, our evenings will be busy.

But seriously though, I AM excited about the prospect of her being here in 2 to 3 weeks. We've waited so long for this, and I really can't wait to meet her. And Steve will get to celebrate his first Father's Day with his baby girl in his arms! I can finally dress her in those cute teensy little clothes and see how she likes her swing and take her for walks in her stroller. We'll finally have some noise in our house and our lives will never be the same.

Okay . . . I guess I'll go pack my bag.